Easter and all that jazz

Do you know how much is sucks to have to deliver an Easter basket to your childs' grave?  I am sure some of the people who read this post will actually know how horrible it feels to have to celebrate the memory of someone on Easter.  Especially if it is a child that has passed thru this world.

On Easter Claire's dad and I had 4 baskets to make for Easter this year, but only 3 of them would actually be placed into our children's hands.  The other would be taken to the cemetery where our daughter, Claire rests.  We can't give her candy to enjoy and get messy with.  We can only gift her presents to sit on a mound of dirt that covers her.  We get to stand in front of a grave that holds a dream, a hope, a desire, a love, a pain, a piece of our hearts.

The fact that Jesus died and rose again gives me faith that Claire was able to do the same.  No, I didn't physically see her ascend to heaven, but faith tells me that I am not supposed to.  We are supposed to have faith in what we cannot see.  I am choosing to go this route.  I have to if I want to ever see my baby girl again.  God, I miss her.  Each nanosecond there is a sadness running through my core.  There are moments when it is hard to breathe.

We are still waiting for the footer to be poured so her headstone can be set.  We paid weeks ago and the check has been cashed and yet no footer.  This momma wants that footer poured ASAP.  I want her stone to be placed, it will be some relief for me.  I know there are many contributing factors like the temperature and weather, but so far this week it has been pretty good.

I consider this Easter to be Claire's first Easter.  It truly is even though it isn't here on Earth.  I am sure it is much more celebrated in Heaven where Jesus is.