Digging Deep

While Claire's dad and I were out on Saturday finalizing the headstone with the monument company, I had to provide them with a picture of her feet, for a picture that will be placed on the top of her headstone.  While having ahold of her pictures I decided to go ahead a place some of those pictures here.  These pictures were taken shortly after delivery and shortly after Claire passed thru this life and into God's arms.  These pictures are of her feet (which will be on her headstone), and her father and I spending time with her after she was born.

Due to the chorioamnionitis infection I had to be placed on antibiotics intravenously for two more days post delivery.  During this time I was able to keep her with me.  One night I slept with her in my hospital bed. Those days were tough because all I could do was wonder why they couldn't help her live.  Although she was very premature she had perfect features and was cute as a button.  During those two days my husband and I switched off holding her.  I am thankful we were able to do that.

The hospital made us a keepsake book for Claire, which I will soon turn into a scrapbook.  They gave us the blankets she was wrapped in and a nice basket that we delivered her to the funeral home in.  They took her hand/foot prints and made us a lovely heart shaped decoration in her memory.  They really hated to see what happened to us, happen.  Unfortunately, they see it almost daily.  Babies die.  I cannot grasp this but the fact of the matter is that they do.  It is the most horrible pain and it is unthinkable.  That is why I never thought about losing my little girl.  Now, I know the statistics.  I know that babies die and I know this because mine did.  This isn't fair.  All babies should live and be happy and healthy.

These pictures are very dear to me.....