We are your mommy and daddy. Brandon and Kristin. We love each other very much and are the very best of friends. We are great parents to you. I am not going to say that we would have been because we still are your mom and dad no matter what. Even though you are in heaven, we still love you like nothing is different. We cannot show physical love, simply because we cannot touch you, but we do show you emotional love. We try hard. We wait for signs. We love you. We talk about you almost everyday. Myself more than your dad. He doesn't show his feelings the same way that I do. He keeps a lot inside. I am more vocal.
Your dad is an excellent cook. He graduated from the Chef's Academy and works in Food Service. He is good at what he does. When we first starting dating each other, he cooked me some great dinners and desserts. I, on the other hand am a terrible cook. So, we trade the cooking and laundry duties. He hates laundry and I don't mind it. I work in Staffing and management. I am in school for my business degree, which I put on hold until next semester so I can have a little time to work on healing from the loss of you. So far, there is no healing. The only peace I have is my belief in God and Heaven. I have no peace inside of me. Only turmoil. I blame myself, I blame God, I think constantly about how things might have been. There is no peace in that. I'm 33 and your dad will be 36. His birthday is 6/27, which also happens to have been your due date. This is always going to make his birthday hard for him. If only you could have made it to that date.
You have two brothers, Matthew and Darrell, and one sister, Katelyn. They wanted you too. At your funeral they cried, they don't understand how this could have happened. Neither do we.
You would have been super spoiled by your grandparents too. Oh the life you would have lived.
The bond we have is unbreakable Claire. I think about you day in and day out.
Together, your dad and I enjoy movies, dinners, taking your brothers and sister to do fun things as a family. We enjoy a lot of the same television shows, little vacations, and we make each other laugh all the time. I love walking through life holding his hand. I also want to be holding yours.
I am getting ready to get back into scrapbooking. I think I need to put my energy into something that I like to do. I will be making a scrapbook for you too.
Love,
Mom
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