Blue skies on the horizon

The skies are looking clear and bright this morning.  I am sitting at work, thinking about you like always.  This morning your chimes were chiming like crazy.  Yesterday, your dad said he sat on the loveseat listening to your chimes and thinking about you.  Your dad had emergency gallbladder surgery this past weekend and is still home recovering.  His gallbladder almost burst before we got him to the hospital.  It could have been a lot worse than it was.  Nevertheless, he is still in some significant pain.  As I type I can see the warm sunshine splashing it's color on the buildings in front of my work.  I thought about you quite a bit on my drive into work.  The other day when I visited you for your 1 month since passing through this world, I promised you that if your dad and I have a baby girl someday, we will give her the middle name Claire.  I want your legacy to continue.  I left you some new windchimes and had a beautiful potted plant made for you.  I still have a few more things to bring out to you.  This Saturday, your dad and I are going with your mamaw and papaw to choose a headstone for you.  This is going to be hard for me but it will give me more options for decorating your grave.  Instead, I should be buying you more stuff for your nursery.  I had some great ideas. The theme was going to be lovebirds and the colors were purples and greens.  You know me, I am not a pink kind of person.  I was going to hang some decorative looking birdcages in your room.  I had plans for you.  Those plans were taken away from me.  Day to day I try to make sense of it.  I don't think I'll ever be able to.  I make assumptions, I try to make things better by trying to convince myself that you are better off in Heaven.  The truth is, I am not sure what I know, think, feel anymore.

Love always,

Mommy